Not Permanent Yet
Our essential nature is Awareness, but Awareness is not personal - it is universal - meaning it is Omnipresent. There is no place in the Universe that has 'more awareness' than any other part and there are no separate, individual 'awarenesses' that give rise to the humans, all the people. We are all expressions of the One Life - the One Awareness. Oneness.
We, however, believe that we are a separate human being living a separate individual life and our Aliveness/Awareness is separate from the Aliveness/Awareness of others.
The details of this separation, this tragedy, is contained in the the story of 'me' and the apparent result is contained in the self image - the 'me' - the one who we think we are.
Very often the impulse on the spiritual path is to 'repair' the one we think we are - so that it has more awareness, more consciousness, more compassion etc. At this time Awareness is referred to as 'my awareness', 'my consciousness'.
Spiritual experiences occur along the way which appear to indicate the 'my awareness is increasing', or 'my consciousness is growing'. But at other times it is apparent that the changes are not permanent or stable.
The following points arise from this
- Our true nature does not change - it is always there. If there is something that is very present at one point and not or less present at another, it could not possibly be our true nature. It must be something else that is being referred to - our true nature does not change.
- What is gained will be lost. If it is possible for you to gain something that you have not had before (like more awareness) then what is being referred to is not your true nature. It will surely leave as well.
- The expression 'my awareness' refers to awareness as if it was a possession or an attribute. Awareness is the ONE thing that can never be an attribute or a possession. It is our essential nature.
- It is only possible for that which is already permanent to be permanent. That which is not permanent cannot 'achieve' permanent-ness. Your true nature is already permanent and does not need to be made permanent.
This is another way of saying "You already are what you seek"
- There is no such thing as 'my awareness' - it is not individually owned - it is not personal - it is not yours or mine. Awareness is Universal, eternal and non personal.
- There is no 'me' to have a 'my'. The expression 'my awareness' gives the game away. Awareness is being attributed to or owned by a 'me', which still exists. The 'me' is a mental construct composed only of thoughts - there is no substance to it at all - but it is still being believed in. It is an illusion, a fiction that only apparently exists because it is believed in.
- The apparent owner of the awareness, the anchor to which the awareness is apparently attached - the 'me' - is changeable. It varies from day to day, year to year and sometimes minute to minute. At times 'it' is happy and cheerful, at other times racked with guilt and self recrimination. It can be melancholy and at other times quietly confident.
The 'me' is variable, changeable in it's basic nature. It is made from thought which operates within the full range of duality - it's condition can never be permanently 'lodged' at the 'good end' of the range of opposites.
When it is felt that 'it is not permanent yet' it is an indication that the dream of 'me' is alive and well. The condition of 'not being permanent' that is being referred to applies to the 'me' and not to your true nature, which is always permanent.
Our nature is the all-perceiving unchanging Awareness, not anything that can be observered, felt or has a condition or state.
It is a situation of seeking one's true nature whilst believing in an illusion.
The belief in the illusion is the primary barrier to the recognition of your true nature, which is already there - full and complete in every way.
And fully permanent too!
Awareness is not 'mine' or 'yours' - it is Universal, Global and Eternal.
Awareness is Aliveness - is Life - is Life itself.
We do not need a 'me' to feel Alive.
Aliveness is our very nature.
The 'me' is no more than a cardboard cutout of our true nature.
Nothing alive or aware there.