The "me", The Reference Point

The Illusory "me" and it's Illusory "life"

Our nature - the Common Perspective

The common perspective is that "I am a person", "this is me", this is my life' "these are my characteristics". All these thoughts and others as well come to be "taken" as the person that I am. The mental image is "me".

We were not born with our sense (concept) of "me-ness" - it is something that was developed after the onset of conceptual thought in childhood. It is something that has been added. Priory to that the child lived from the Aliveness that is its very real essential nature.

This sense of "me" is conceptual and there are many of thoughts every day that refer to a "me". Thoughts assign ownership of real objects to the "me" ("This house is mine") and actual things that have happened ("I did that").

The apparent substance and existence of the "me" is given credibility by association with the real, the actual. But it just so happens that the objects and actions are/were real but the "me" to which they are attributed is not.

If you do not actually look for it, the Ego at a surface glance appears to be there - it appears to exist.

If you actually look for it - it is found not to be there at all. All that actually exists are thoughts about the "me" and there is no "me" there at all.

So the Ego would not qualify as a phenomenon as it cannot be the subject of direct perception. Indeed the existence of the Ego is only inferred by thought and never directly perceived.

It is completely dependent on an un shakeable belief in the content of thought and is a particularised version of that.

The Ego does qualify as an Illusion - as it is thought to be there, but does not actually exist at all.

The personal sense of self is not our true nature and has never been so.

Our actual nature - not as it seems

Our true nature is Eternal, Universal, and Not Personal.

It is Aliveness itself - It is the One Life.

Our true nature is awareness / consciousness / Aliveness / Intelligence Energy - or what ever term you would prefer.

But these terms do not encapsulate our nature at all - they are just words that say what it "seems like". There is no sense at all in arguing over the words, or comparing them, or latching onto any one of them and defending it as the "true word" (Sounds a bit like Monty Python's "Life of Brian") .

There is no word or collection of words that can encapsulate our true nature. Words are just thought.

Our nature is prior to thought - and cannot be "captured" or described by thought.

Our actual nature has always been our actual nature. There is no escaping that.

Our true nature is our actual nature and it is ineffable.

The Illusory Life - the life of the "me"

The "Illusory Life" is apparently "lived" by "me", but of course the "me" is an illusion.

The "Illusory Life" is apparently "lived" by the Ego - the "me" - but the "me" does not exist.

The "me" does not have any Aliveness of its own with which to Live. Life Itself continues to Live us, and the mind attributes or "re-sources" (changes the source) the Aliveness to itself. There appears to be a "deadening effect" in life lived as "me" - a Life lived through the multi-layered conceptual veils. (See through the "me" and the apparent veils dissolve without being directly addressed. )

Given that the "me" does not exist - this does not stop a belief in it - just like the Tooth Fairy, or possibly even Santa.

Is it possible while Life Lives Us, that there is another so-called "life" that is going on in the world of thought?

While actual Life happens - we are Lived - there is a background "thought life" going on that stars the "me" which is also a thought.

All events that actually occur only ever occur in the real world (Oh - yes - that one !), which our senses pick up - vision, audio etc.

Those events are then referred to the "me", which is the reference point. Some are taken personally, some are used to enhance the mind made sense of self, others to reduce the apparent worth of others (as thought forms), others used in strategies and tactics in overt or covert combat with others (who are conceptualised) , others used to repair - as much as possible - damage done to the self image.

Yet others are are used to cast "me" as the victim (thoughts reframing the story of "me") who has been let down by life or left in the lurch by so-called friends.

This "me" is the "one" that is jealous, suspicious, compares self to others, wants revenge, has a sense of pride in being better than others, wants to please and thereby get approval from others, wants to know "what's in it for me?" The list is endless.

This is where the suffering is - it is suffering by a "me". It is mental suffering and it is predicated on the apparent reality of the "me".

There is no doubt that the "me" has great suffering. Most of the suffering of humans is suffering of the "me".

All of this occurs in thought - both the "me" and the suffering

Is it possible that the "Illusory Life" itself is an Illusion as it is apparently "lived" by an Illusion?

Is it possible to "recover" from that suffering without recovering (seeing through) the "me" which is the cause of suffering.

What happens to that suffering if the "me" is seen to be false? Can the suffering continue?

While the "me" is believed there is suffering and seeking - all in thought.

While all this is going on - back to the present moment - Life continues to Live Us - completely undaunted by the drama filled side-show that is going on about "me" in a small fully laced-up tent somewhere on the periphery of the Show.

Real Life - the one that is actually happening

Meanwhile.... in the real world, real life is still occurring where everything is taken as it comes, or dealt with and in some cases suffered through, or not. Life is a lot simpler - the trials and tribulations of Life still occur but there is no-one getting personal about it.

In the real world - in REAL Life - Life itself is not an entity - it is a movement. It is a functioning - it is a verb. Living is occurring. It is Life Itself directly Living. There is nothings that exists, or does not exist, that is doing the Living.

Personality is still there - bubbling, drive is still there - driving, and humour is still there - laughing. At times anger may be there - blasting. And grief there crying deeply. Things get done and there is pleasure in the doing. Energy is there - and there is enormous Aliveness in that.

Objects are still named "Pass the hammer". The words "me" and "I" are used as a first person personal pronoun, but there is no conceptual "me" attached to those words. The names of other people are used and no conceptual structure connected to them. Life goes on just as it always has.

Memory is used just as it always was. Intellect is used, problems are solved. Analysis occurs and solutions come about - just as they always have.

Personality is there, after all it is an aspect of the Natural Functioning of the human. That does not change except for being freer as there is no embedded "me" believing that it is the center of the universe.

Eating happens, sex happens, sleeping happens, going to the toilet happens just as it always has - all aspects of Natural Functioning as well. No-one there to "hang up" on any of these. No-one there to "own" any of them. Not "my" experience any more.

Through all that it is known that what appears as the human is not who or what we are. Our true nature is directly experienced - just as it always has been - and without the veil of conceptual thought this is clearly evident and at times even subsequently (after the fact) registered by the mind.

There is an Aliveness inside - just under the surface or at the surface. A sense of excitement with Life Itself is there under the so-called good experiences and under the so-called bad ones.

There is mostly no conceptualisation at all of our true nature. There is no need to have these concepts any more. The REAL - which is non-conceptual - is right there and is directly experienced. Conceptualising it adds nothing to what is there and leads away from the Truth, not towards it.

You cannot say "Now that it is being Lived" as it always was. Occasionally thoughts come - and that is fine.

Occasionaly one can be pulled in by thought, but it does not last long, is seen through very quickly and leaves without a trace.

The joke is that real life is always like this and always has been.

This is the REAL, the ACTUAL.

Simply Living Life.

Life Itself.

The One Life.

Universal, Eternal, Not Personal.

The Buddha's No Self (Annata).

Written by Mike Graham, 12 November 2009, last edited 14 November 2009