The Ego, the Reference Point

Mister Non-Existence

Bob says 'That entity has never done a bloody thing in its life'.

The nonexistent ego is so nonexistent that it only ever 'exists' after the fact . The ego identifies with 'the fact' (e.g. a car - 'my' car) and by that identification it, the ego,  seems to exist but only because it identifies with something that actually DOES exist.

When the ego is not able to identify with someTHING - it does not exist. It is a parasite in the fullest meaning of the word. It relies for its very existence on something that it latches onto - some THING that actually exists. The 'car' exists and so do 'I'.

Something happens - and then - 'that's mine'.  The ego is not there at the point of things actually occurring. It does not have the power to do anything - there is no aliveness at all in the ego. It cannot 'live life'. The ego cannot even move your little toe. Only Aliveness can do that but the 'me' claims it as an accomplishment.

The ego does not even cause the thoughts that apparently 'bring about' the ego. Those thoughts arise spontaneously. The original thought about the 'me' or the 'I' arose spontaneously. Other thoughts arose about it - we did not choose them either - they were spontaneous as well.

None of 'our' thoughts are caused by 'us' - mainly because there is no 'our' or 'us' to cause them.  The thoughts just arise - we cannot change them or  choose them. Seems like it is 'part of the deal' about being a human. Cats don't seem to have that problem.

The thought 'I am acting egoically' is a thought that can arise spontaneously. The thought 'The Ego is alive and well in me' is a thought that can arise. It is the same as any other thought - it was not deliberately generated and quality checked before being published in your mind.

If there is a thought about that 'I believe that' - that thought was not chosen or Quality Assured either. It just arose.

The thoughts that arise are in the full range of duality - from very, very good to  very, very bad. We do not choose any of them. They just happen.

Even after you have very clearly recognised who/what you are and who/what you are not - the full range of thoughts will still occur. It does not mean that the 'thought factory' shuts down for good. At times there will be stillness, at other times lots of mental chatter.

Thoughts about the separate entity still occur. Thoughts about the 'me' still occur. Thoughts about good things and bad things within the full range of duality - a lot of scope there!.  

Seeing through the 'me' means that they pass through uncorrected, unedited, unmodified. Without them being latched onto - no-one there to take delivery of them, as 'Sailor' Bob says.

A 'bad' thought goes through and than another thought 'I should not have thought that' goes through.  The second thought, if believed, is the identification - now the 'me' is onboard for the trip - and the thought hangs around, with suffering attached.

Bob also says - "Decisions are made, choices occur, beliefs are held, but by no-one"  Cats apparently make choices but there is no conceptual 'catty me' there claiming it was 'their choice'.

Choices are just made and they arise too - after all they are thoughts as well. The thoughts that are apparently concerned with that apparent 'choice' also arise spontaneously, along with the choice.

The apparency is that there is a separate human there that is apparently weighing up the evidence and apparently making a choice. In actually, all of these things occur/arise as part of our part of the natural functioning - the only difference is that there is a conceptual 'me' that latches onto that and claims ownership - a conceptual me that is nonexistent except as the content of some thoughts.

The spontaneous arising is Life itself - and we are that. Life itself is ever fresh, always arising, always new. That is where our Aliveness is - always alive and vibrant, apparently beneath the stream or torrent of mental conceptualization which we think is 'me'.

It is when we believe that the conceptual one, the nonexistent one is the REAL 'me' - which has all the thoughts, does all these things that we apparently lose touch with the full and complete Aliveness that is always present. Lost in thought and we think it is Life Itself.

Identifying with the 'me' is identifying with variability and changeability. The ego feels 'good' one moment and 'bad' the next. And we think it is 'me'. Awareness is changeless, but you cannot identify with Awareness or call it your Identity. Awareness is your true nature, but there is no-one there - it is non-Personal and no- thing, so there is nothing there to identify with.

Seeing through the 'me' means a re-cognising occurs - a seeing of Awareness by itself. It is all in the Seeing. Not thinking, not deducing, not theorising, not hoping. SEEing alone will do.

All functioning that occurs is natural functioning within the very wide boundaries of the extreme opposites of duality. That is the 'playing field' for the game of life.  All the good and all the bad are on the field. Everything that has ever been done from the worst mass murderers to the likes of Ramana Maharshi and Mahatma Gandhi are on the playing field.  All the bad things you have done and all the bad things I have done are on the playing field.

So you can say that they all arise from consciousness. Tough pill to swallow, but there is no avoiding it. There is no escape from that.

More accurately, you cannot say 'from consciousness' at all as that is dualistic. Describing it that way refers to something that is separate (like a separate Source) from which it comes. Whatever arises, arises in the immediacy of the present moment. There is no separation. No apparent slicing up of Oneness. No 'from' and no 'to'.

Looking at nature is interesting in this context. All are alive, but there is no 'me' there. Animals have fights. Kill each other.  No 'me' there at all.  There is only ONE Awareness, the One Life.

It means that even if the 'me' is seen through completely there will be times when we get cross or irritated. Or worse. Those actions arise and after the fact were in the past assigned to a 'me' or a separate entity. But now there is seen to be no separate entity.

The 'me' does not have the power to cause anything except its own mental suffering as it is entirely conceptual.

If there is no 'me' there now - has there ever been a 'me' there at all? Granted it may have felt like it - but was it actually there at all - ever? This question is also inescapable.

There was never a 'me' there at all - ever!! At no time did the illusion exist.

Seeing through the 'me' means seeing that it has no substance whatsoever. It can also be seen that at NO time did it ever have a substantial existence - ever.

Gosh!

It was only ever an illusion. Illusions do not exist at one time and not later on - illusions never actually exist. There never was an ego, so you don't have to 'exercise it daily, keep it in good shape'.

All functioning that occurs is natural functioning for a human or a cat or a duck but for humans the 'me' latches onto whatever is there.  Anything will do.

Having said all that - does it make a difference when the 'me' is seen to be the fiction that it is and always has been?

It never existed and is now seen to have never existed. Any belief in it has gone - its credibility is shot!

All that has occurred is the SEEing. Awareness has not changed - after all it is changeless. There never was an ego and there still isn't.

All that has happened is the Seeing of the False as False.

Does it really make a difference?

You betcha!!

With that belief goes the dream of the 'me'.

With that dream goes the ' sufferer', the one who urgently needed to become enlightened.

With that dream goes the psychological suffering as well.

It is all in the SEEing.

Written by Mike Graham, 17 March 2008, last edited 19 Mar 2008.