'Sailor' Bob Adamson
The End of Spiritual Seeking
When the end of seeking occurs the need and impulse to acquire further 'answers' dissolves.
When the end of spiritual searching occurs the urge to read more spiritual books, go to more satsangs, go to more retreats, find exciting new teachers or get the latest from a particular teacher, is not there any more.
You will know when the end of seeking occurs. This one is not difficult.
You know that it has ended. You notice that you are not seeking any more.
It is not like trying to work out whether you are enlightened, or self-realized, or if you have become 'awake'.
To know that you have stopped seeking, you do not have to read a book or ask someone if it has happened.
It is simple and it is obvious.
There are no esoteric concepts to deal with. Not something you can take as an achievement.
The end of spiritual seeking occurs when you have realized what you have been looking for has been there all along.
The end of seeking occurs when you have realized that you are not the one you thought you were.
But maybe, the first thing you notice, some time later, is that the seeking has ended.
And the suffering has ended too.
What follows on these pages takes as its starting point the following.
The age old spiritual quest is to find out who you really are.
Finding out who/what you are and who/what you are not is the single focus of this website.
We as humans have a self image - a mental structure that defines our nature and while we are still quite young we come to believe that the self image is more than just an image - it is our actual nature.
The self image is variable - one day it might be positive and the next day, or even an hour later, or a minute later it might be very very negative. When the image is very negative and it is referring to 'me' it can cause a great deal of suffering.
The self image, the ego, is composed only of thoughts - there is no aliveness there at all and no awareness either. Just thoughts. There is no 'me' there at all.
A collection of thoughts about our nature is not the same as the actuality of our nature just as a description of a car is not the same as an actual car. The description of a wash is not the same as an actual wash. The description of a wonderful holiday is not the same as actually experiencing a wonderful holiday.
There is an aliveness to the actuality - it exists now. The description, by contrast, is made up of components all of which belong to the past.
The description is not the thing - and the self image is a description. Whether the description is accurate or inaccurate is not the issue - the description is not what is being described, the real, the actual. Believing that a self image ('good', 'bad' or 'indifferent') encapsulates your true nature is believing a fiction.
We exist, we are aware and we are alive. Our aliveness, the certainly of our existence and the knowledge that we are aware is directly experienced by everyone. Our true nature is the Aliveness that we are, which is also described as Awareness, Consciousness or Presence-Awareness.
In believing the fiction that the self image, the ego, comprises our true nature and IS our true nature we apparently lose touch with the depth our true nature - after all the 'thing' that we are identifying with does not have any Aliveness at all - it is a false dead image from the past. And we suffer.
Seeing the false as false (we are not who we think we are) enables the re-cognition of our true nature - which has actually been there all along.
This is the spiritual quest - find out who you really are and find out who you are not.
It is all in the SEEing.
Words, descriptions, beliefs or convictions are not enough.
Only SEEing the actual will do.
Written by Mike Graham, 19 Jan 2008, last edited 31 March 2010
Wei Wu Wei